When Do You Need an Outside Facilitator?

In my recent posts, I have emphasized the need for regular communication between business partners, and even more so in businesses where family members are involved. I have also written much about the need to have an outside facilitator, someone who is objective and neutral. But how do you know when such a person is necessary, even crucial, and what do you look for in such a person?

Here are some key signs indicating you need external help:

• Emotions run hot;
  
• Some dominate the conversations, stalling participation from others;
  
• Conversely, people remain quiet, saying very little;
  
• People appear to be walking on egg shells, dancing around sensitive yet critical issues, which never seem to get resolved;
• When healthy dialogue is missing. People roll their eyes, looking here and there, and appear to agree readily;
• You know you need to communicate but you just can't seem to get to it, or are not sure what to do, or are uncomfortable for whatever reason;
• You need greater objectivity in the conversations.
  

Here are some key elements to look for in the facilitator:

• Must have deep understanding, preferably through real experience, of both business AND family/partnership dynamics;
  
• Is sensitive to group dynamics, not only among partners and among family business owners, but also dynamics that occur between owners and non-owners, non-owners and non-owner family members--yes, it's very complex;
  
• Strong at picking up undercurrents, the unspoken;
• Is an excellent listener, observer and has good communication skills;
• Can keep the conversation focused and on track;
• Can manage conflict and emotional vulnerability;
• Is objective and neutral while being respectful and understanding of various inputs.

If you are experiencing any of the signs above, get some help, NOW. Don't brush issues under the carpet, hoping they'll go away and all will work out just fine. If people are walking on egg shells, it's only a matter of time before stress fractures occur and the eggs crack. It's not a question of if, but when. Speaking from experience, before it's too late, get some help. You'll be thankful.

Sherpa Passang, From Tragedy to Triumph

On our way to Everest Base Camp, we stayed overnight at a tea house in Thamol. As we were sitting around, a man approached me, selling paintings he claimed to have painted himself. What caught my attention though were his hands. On his left hand, all fingers were gone and on the right, only small stubs of his fingers remained.

Having traveled enough in that region, I was skeptical. I "assumed" he had purchased them from some group and was selling them to tourists, capitalizing on their sympathy. While I sent him away, without a sale, something kept nagging me, telling me he was sincere. Unable to put him behind me, I inquired about him and came to know his story.

He was once a Climbing Sherpa, which means he would help climbers get to top of various mountains in the region. And on one of the treks, he had met with an accident and lost his fingers. His story touched my heart so deeply that I requested one of the local men to find his home and take me there, which he did early following morning.

To be perfectly honest, in someway I was looking for answers for myself, for I know all too well the inner struggle one faces when restarting oneself after having a successful career. I wanted to learn from his story, e.g. what he went through after the accident, of all possible careers how did he decide to paint, and how and from where did he find the inner strength to push forth to reestablish himself.

At his home, I met his wonderful family and saw where he lives and works. Given the language challenges, I got some sense of his story over a wonderful cup of tea his wife made for us. At the end of the conversation, I happily purchased one of his largest paintings for to me it's a testimony to the human spirit, how with the right frame of mind one can overcome great adversity.

Today, whenever I look upon my own journey and I feel the emotional ups and downs given the challenges of restarting, I find great strength when I see his painting and when I think of him. Sherpa Passang, you're my hero. Thank you.

First Who, Then What!

I recently received an email from an old friend saying "Vinay, help. No matter what I do, I seem to constantly feel dissatisfied in my work. What's wrong with me? What do I do?".

To be completely honest, this question hit me right between eyes for it so resonated with me since I have been in a similar state myself for the last 2-1/2 years. No matter what I do, something doesn't feel right. I keep thinking if I did something else, I would be happy but that never seems to happen.

When I reflect back, my most successful, happiest work days were when I was in business. I used to work 50-60 hours weeks, doing variety of things, and used to love every minute of it. In fact, each and every day, I could hardly wait to get out of bed and get to work. Even when I would be on vacation, I would be thinking of work and when I would return, I would run straight to office.

So I been asking myself, what's changed? I am still the same person, same brain, same heart, and so on. Well, I found the answer on my trek to Everest Base Camp, that I want to share it with you in case it's helpful to you or to someone you know.

You see, very simplistically speaking, there are 3 types of people. Those who are primarily task oriented, those who are mainly people oriented, and those who are somewhere in between.

For the primarily task oriented, it tends to be much more about what they are doing, tasks they are performing. For example, I know of a place where nearly every day people come to office, go straight to their desks, work all day-with very little people interaction-and then go home at end of the day. They are nicest people I know but they are still hardly interact among themselves during work days. They are clearly very task oriented.

Then there are those who are people oriented. They have to be around people. As flowers need sunlight, they need people for without, they wither.

Then there are those who are in the middle, both task and people oriented. I am one of these types. When I have some structure, have a sense of what needs to be achieved, have the creative freedom to achieve it, and am around and working with and helping people, I am extremely engaged and happy. In many cases, it doesn't even truly matter what I am doing. It's more that I am creating, within a structure, and am around and helping/working with people. In fact, nothing makes me come more alive then when I hear the words "Vinay, I need your help with something".

So for example, on the Everest Trek, there were 11 of us. We had somewhat of a daily structure for we had to make certain amount of daily progress to reach our destination on schedule. There were days we would hike up grueling steep paths for 6-8 hours daily. Yet what I remember is that along the way, had lot of great conversations, enjoyed each others company, and just loved being together. Though trekking was hard, it didn't feel like it, cause we were a great team. There were times we pushed each other, when we just sat around quietly reading, or sharing meals, and so on. Frankly, for me, I was around people, I was part of a team that knew what had to be done and we were doing it together. Come to think of it, we could have been cleaning bathrooms for all that matter, and I would have been OK.

Therefore, when people are unhappy in work, their first tendency is to want to do something else. If my experience holds true, dissatisfaction often has less to do with what one does and more to do with workplace relationships (with colleagues, boss, and so on), lack of clarity on expectations, etc.

So next time you experience dissatisfaction, or know someone who is, dig deeper. Ask probing questions and then guide them accordingly. Before changing the "what", find out the real cause and address that first.

I am off to Base Camp at Mt. Everest

First, I want to thank you for reading my blog posts. I hope you find them useful. If ever you have suggestions on what I can do to make this blog more useful to you, please do share your thoughts with me. I really want to know and I welcome your suggestions. This is my first time at having a blog, which I started as many of you had encouraged me to start one and therefore I want this to be of use to you.

Secondly, I wanted to mention that most likely you will not see any posts from me this coming month of October. I am off to Nepal, trekking to Base Camp and there I will have very limited access to the net. I'll be back end of October and will resume at that time.

Till then, take care everyone and thanks again for subscribing and for being part of my community.

How to Make More Money, with Less Time and Effort

• Are you feeling stretched, and stressed?

• Are you feeling stuck, want to earn more but not sure what to do?

• Are you sick and tired of working long hours, saying to yourself, this is not why you went into business for yourself?

Through my own experience, as well as what I have learned through the process of helping others develop their business plans (a MUST, if you don't have one for yourself), the problem I find is not that they are not doing enough, but rather they are trying to do too much for too many people. In essence, they lack focus. They are generic, a small fish in a big pond.

So if you answered yes to the above questions, then I have a suggestion for you. Over the next 4 weeks, do the following.

1. Determine the profile of your ideal client. This is the person with whom you enjoy doing business and it allows you to generate your desired revenue with relative minimal effort (in doing the work and marketing wise, as couple of factors to take into account). This includes profiling both the organization as well as the individual client. Once you know who this is, then you can actively spend time in a more focused way.

For example, let's say you're an executive coach offering leadership development. While this is nice, imagine being an executive coach to introverted engineers within the aerospace industry. By focusing and niching, you just went from being a small fish in a big pond to a big fish in a small pond. From being a general "generic" surgeon to a heart surgeon specializing in repairing damaged aortic valves. Now more of the clients will seek you out, paying you more $$$ per unit of time for now you're a specialist.

2. Review what products and services are giving you the greatest revenue and profits. Indirectly you'll get a sense of what's in demand, and what are the biggest challenges your clients are facing, and therefore buying what they are buying from you.

If you like to see how we applied this to the business I was a co-owner in, that we grew 28 folds, while at the same time increasing profitability, client retention, and having better quality of life, read my post entitled Sweet Spot: Maximizing Business Growth and Profitability.

Taking the time to determine your Ideal Client Profile (ICP) and narrowing your offerings down to say 2-3 key offerings will help you get focused. From that will emerge list of action items and where to spend your valuable time. You'll not only make more money, you'll also find you have more time for things you love to do.

Work Smart, Not Hard!

Don't Let this Tear Your Business Apart

In business, after some initial success, partners and family members who are in business together at times start to go in different directions. It's not intentional. Just that each has their own vision of the future. If this is not brought to surface and resolved, it can turn into a tug-of-war, wasting precious resources. It can even tear apart the business. Everyone looses.

Let's dig deeper and look at what happens.

In business, according to Bradford, Duncan and Tarcy, authors of Simplified Strategic Planning (an excellent read) there are six different strategic focus areas by which one can lead the business. These include:

1. Product/Service
2. Market/Customers
3. Technology
4. Raw Materials
5. Distribution Channel
6. Capabilities

For the business to be successful, while it may contain elements of more then one of these, only one can be the primary driver. If the primary driver/focus is not chosen and agreed upon, significant resources end up being wasted in the tug-of-war that follows. For the purposes of this post, I want to focus on two of the six:

1. Market/Customer Focus
2. Product/Service Focus

In market/customer focus, the focus is more on serving the target market. If say one partner feels really connected with a specific space, s/he will want to go deeper into this space. For example, let's assume a partner serves the dental market, supplying tooth brushes. Given the excellent relationships she experiences with those she serves, she may choose to also sell other products to this market, such as floss, tooth paste, x-ray film, office equipment, and so on. She simply loves her clients and want to do more for them. It's more about the market then what is sold.

In product/service focus, say for the other partner, it's not about the dental market but that he just loves brushes. His view is if dental offices buy brushes, then he can expand his product line to include other kinds of brushes and expand into for other markets. For example, this could include selling brushes to auto repair shops, to manufacturing facilities, and so on. He simply loves brushes regardless of type of brushes and who they are sold to. It's more about what is sold then the market.

When this difference surfaces, if partners are not aware of what's happening here, they may conclude something like that the other is just stubborn, just doesn't get it, and so on. Before you know it, wedge has been driven, going deeper and deeper overtime, and eventually leading to the partnership being split. Alternatively, they continue to have this tug-of-war, wasting precious resources and experiencing stress as well.

If you are experiencing this situation or know of business partners who are, it's important to discuss this objectively and settle on one strategic focus, for the sake of the business and the partnership.

10 Tips for Making The Family Business Work

(I had written this prior to leaving for vacation, but in rush of things forgot to post. Anyways, posting it now).

Many when they hear of a family business, they imagine family members happily working side by side singing songs, floating through the days, happily ever after. While are there certainly numerous benefits of being in a family business, families in business together also experience tremendous stress, something those on the "outside" don't see nor experience.

It's hard enough to exist peacefully in a family. Add to that a successful yet very demanding business, things get really complicated. Business meetings at work turn into family meeting and home gathering become business discussions, often leaving those who are not involved feeling left out. And home tensions go into the workplace and tough decision made at work leads to feeling isolated at home with one getting "the stares, glares, the looks". It never stops. At time it can feel as if walking on a mine field.

If you're experiencing stress being in the family business (or partnership), here are 10 tips, to keep you and the business healthy:

1. Get involved in some group that nourishes your soul, something that has nothing to do with business and something in which you can participate without other family members involved. Some separation and break is healthy.

2. Exercise regularly and eat healthy. It'll relieve the stress and keep you healthy. You must stay in shape for family business is not for the weak.

3. Have a sounding board, a thought partner. In such a business setting, it's easy for one to feel isolated. I know I used to feel that very often, isolated and frustrated, wondering who to talk to freely, without causing waves. Have someone in your corner with whom you can have on-going conversations, to help you think through your challenges, help you see things from a different perspective, help you stay focused and sane, listen to you without judging and trying to fix you. This person must be someone who understands family business dynamics and is an "outsider", is objective, neutral, and has nothing to gain or loose.

4. Have regular meetings. You can never have too much communication. If you think regular meetings aren't needed, and you assume everyone is on the same page, you're wrong. Many business problems in family businesses find their roots in lack of communication.

5. Hold at least once every year an off-site retreat, preferably facilitated by an outside moderator, who can keep the conversation moving forward while keeping everyone together.

6. Be always watchful of unexpressed expectations, mood changes, issues brewing under the surface. When you detect them, resolve them before they turn into volcanoes for if situations reach that stage, it becomes very difficult to resolve even the seemingly simplest issues.

7. Run personality profiles on each family involved in the business and have the results discussed among the members, with the discussion being led by someone who is an expert in this. This leads to structured conversations and then the better everyone understands each other, the more effectively everyone can appreciate and leverage each others differences rather then have those differences tear the group apart.

8. Take the necessary time to establish clear roles, responsibilities and accountability for each family member who is involved in the business. While these may not be set in stone, it will lead to greater clarity for everyone.

9. Separate as much as possible, family roles from business roles. While this is far easier said then done, it's an important element to lasting success and peace. For example, if you're a couple in business, be the couple at home but when you're at work, be the professionals you are supposed be, doing what your roles require of you.

10. Last but not least. As business changes and grows, so do the family members. While they may have started with a similar vision and goals, overtime their own visions and desires change. To keep everyone on the same page, once each year, set aside time away from the office for business planning. Such planning is not only important for business success, it provides a forum for having structured conversations, which are vital to keeping everyone together, focused and aligned.