My New Book: Language and the Pursuit of Leadership Excellence

Returning to this blog after a long time, it's a pleasure to share with you that my new book - co-authored with my friend and colleague, Chalmers Brothers - is now available!

"Language and the Pursuit of Leadership Excellence" provides an organizational blueprint and set of proven, actionable practical tools for leaders at all levels for building productive mutually-beneficial relationships - inside and outside their organizations... for shaping healthy workplace culture... for improving real world execution... and driving breakthrough results.

Based on the same powerful foundation as "Language and the Pursuit of Happiness" (2005), this new book draws on conversations with thousands of CEO's and business owners over the past 10 years.  Chalmers and I are confident that you will find this book to be helpful, relevant and valuable in your leadership journey.

In the coming months I also plan to write short posts here, sharing with you key distinctions from this powerful body-of-work, some of the ways you can apply this learning, and how it can serve you in your personal, professional, and organizational life.

Just Stop It - The Sequal!

Several months ago, I asked a CEO whom I greatly respect, what can one do to become more effective?  His reply was "do more of what works and less of what doesn't".  The more I reflected on his response, the more I realized how profound his words were.

I than asked myself, where does one start.  Focusing more on doing more of what works, or less of what doesn't?  The more I thought about this, and seeing how stretched and stressed many of our lives are already, the more I came to see that if we simply stop doing what doesn't work, that alone will help us increase our effectiveness.  Not only will this give us more space in our lives, which I believe is important to our well-being, it will also allow us to focus more of our time, energy and resources on what does work.

With this said, here are some suggestions:

1. Look at your To Do List and your calendar.  What do you have on there that no longer makes sense.  Once you have identified these items, just stop 'em.  In-terms of previous commitments, as far as possible, renegotiate them.  You can do this.  It's OK. 
2. Look at your various involvements. For example projects, committees, and other initiatives.  For those that no longer make sense, find a way to let them go.
3. Consider the people with whom you interact.  Among them, do you have individuals with negative attitudes, who continue to suck up your time, energy and resources, leaving you drained and tired?  These often are the people who also don't help you move forward in any significant way and they refuse to change.  I say move 'em on.  The more I see and experience as I go about my days the more wisdom I see in the statement "Sometimes its easier to change people than it is to change people".  

Look, this is your life and you get to choose.  So if you agree with what I have shared in this post, than follow the suggestions listed above.  Whatever no longer works and doesn't move you forward, simply Just Stop It!

The 3-Step Program to Take Back Control of Your Time!

As I move about and talk to various people, I see so many who seem to be constantly feeling overwhelmed.  As I do, I ask myself:

• What are these people so busy doing?  
• When do they have time to think?
• How is what they're doing helping them and their organizations move forward in a significant way?
• Is some of what they're doing possible to simplify, automate, delegate, or perhaps just stop doing all together?  If they did, would anyone miss it?  Would their be any noticeable impact?

The more I thought about this, the more I realized how important focusing is. Focusing on things that matter, that have the greatest impact, that move you and your organization forward in significant ways, and stop doing things that don't. 

The questions then arose in my mind were while this sounds nice, where does one begin to take back control one's schedule, and what's the process by which one would regain greater focus and control?  As I reflected on this, what surfaced in my thoughts is what I will refer to as The CI Model (CIM).  Image is above.

In CIM, there are 4 Boxes.  They are:

• Box 1: Important/No Control 
• Box 2: Important/Control
• Box 3: Not Important/No Control
• Box 4: Not Important/Control

 As to what I mean by these terms, it is as follows:

• Important: Activities that move you, your team, and your organization forward in a significant way towards established goals.  These are activities that have significant pay off in comparison to time and resources invested.
• Not Important: Activities that don't move you forward towards established goals in any significant manner. These are things that take up physical and mental resources yet payoff is relatively small, if any at all, considering the effort and time investment.
• Control: These are activities that must be done by you given your expertise and qualifications.  In addition, you get to decide whether these are to be done, or not done, how they are to be done, and when.
• No Control: These are things that fall on your plate but they don't need to be done necessarily by you, if they need to be done at all in the first place.

If you agree with this so far, below are the 3 steps to follow to take back control of your schedule and focus on what matters most. The time you invest in doing this will more then pay off in freed up time and resources. In other words, time investment will be relatively small in comparison to pay off in the long-run. Here are the 3 steps:

Step 1: Do a brain dump.  Empty your brain. Write down everything that is on your plate right now.
Step 2: Move each of the items you have listed into appropriate boxes within the CIM.
Step 3: For items listed within each box, do as follows:

• Box No. 4 - Immediately stop doing it.
• Box No. 3 - First, question if this needs to be done at all.  If not, stop it.  If it does for some reason, renegotiate with whoever assigned this to you, to get it moved off your plate.  If you can't get it off your plate, look for ways to streamline it, automate it.
• Box No. 2 - As much as possible, focus your time and energy in this box for this will lead to greatest impact. The more you focus here, the more you and your organization benefit.
• Box No. 1 - Its important to do this work but its not necessary that you do it.  Therefore try to get it off your plate and look for someone else who can do this, both to free up your time and that it could serve to develop an upcoming colleague who could benefit by taking this on. 

Go ahead, give this a go.  This will help you not only take back control of your time (and your life), it'll also help you remain focused, in control, and lead to greater gains for you, your team, and your organization.  Everyone will win.

Say Yes to No, to Kick Start the New Year!

US President Obama carried his campaign on the slogan "Yes We Can!"  Growing up "Can Do Attitude" was drilled into us.  There are numerous books on "Getting to Yes".   On and on it goes.  With all this emphasis on "yes", whatever happened to "no"?  I think it's feeling left out.  And come to think of it, what's wrong with saying "No We Can't", "Getting to No", and having a "No Can Do Attitude"?  After all, isn't saying no just as powerful as saying yes? 

By saying yes to so many things, don't we often begin to feel like we're not living a life that is our own?  Don't we end up taking on so many things that don't energize us, don't fulfill us, cause us to lose focus, and don't move us forward towards what we want? So why do we say yes so often?

Now look, I have nothing against the word yes.  It's a perfectly fine word.  But just because it has one one more letter, doesn't make it better.  So isn't it time we honor and give "no" the respect it also deserves?  

If you agree with this, I invite you for a moment to stop doing whatever you're doing right now.  Spend some time in quiet reflection and list out all that is on your plate.  Then ask yourself, of all those things you just listed, which ones can you stop doing right now.  What can you say no to.  Then take the next step.  That is stop doing it.  Just say no.  It's that simple.

For as you do, you'll discover that it'll free you up to say yeses to the things that truly matter.  You'll become more focused, more effective, more joyful by saying yes to things that move you forward and no to things that don't.  At the end of the day, isn't that what you really want?

Yes?  No?

*****

P.S. If you're leading teams, I encourage you to share this with each of your team members and ask them to do the same.  Imagine how many valuable resources will get freed up which you can then redirect to doing more of what will move you and your organization forward.

Thank You for Making A Difference!

First, I want to wish each and every one of you very joyous holidays. I also want you to know that you make a difference for me, which you may not realize.

Your subscribing to my blog, commenting on my posts, emailing me your thoughts, and sharing with me how something I posted shifted your thinking and which led to a positive result for you, has meant much to me.

As you may have noticed, I enjoy sharing my thoughts, and which I do only as they arise.  As a result, my postings come in waves for I don't force these writing but rather I let them emerge.  And while I experience joy through sharing, knowing I have you to share with, that gives me even greater energy, and purpose, to continue doing so.  For I can't imagine what it would be like to write without having anyone to share these with and not knowing it they matter or make any difference. 

In addition, from these writings so far have emerged my very first book (Customers: Love 'Em or 'Lose Em) and 4 articles that have been published in Association Now, a national magazine published by The American Society of Association Executives.

Moving forward, my post would not be complete if I did not also provide something for you to think about, to reflect on.  With this in mind, as we come to the end of 2011 and beginning of 2012, I invite you to reflect on the following questions:

In regards to 2011:

• What were some of your biggest accomplishments, ones that you are particularly proud of and you feel are worthy of celebration?
• What are your top 3 lessons learned, ones that you will take with you into the future, that will help you personally and professionally?

Looking to 2012:

• What do you want to accomplish by end of 2012?
• What challenges and obstacles do you anticipate?
• What support do you think you will need to overcome these and where can you get this support?
• What do you need to pick-up, and more importantly let go of now?

Thank you and I wish each and every one of you much continued happiness and success in the coming year, and beyond.

How Long is A Minute?

In response to my recent post So, What's Constant About Change?, Myron Radio, President of The R Group, and an authority on successfully guiding organizations through change initiatives, emailed me the following.  

"In reference to the concept of Constant Change, Anthony Robbins once said, "If you're not moving forward, you're sliding back."  In my experience, there are three types of Change... Evolutionary (constant improvement), Revolutionary (a major change taken on to vastly improve one's position) and Chaotic (we don't ever see it coming - think 09/11).  The range of emotions one encounters across this continuum vary from "OK let's do this" on one end to "Oh no - what just happened"."

As I read this, I was reminded of an exchange.  It went like this. Question asked was, "How long is a minute?".  Response given, "Depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on."  I believe this captures well the essence of how change is often viewed.

Returning to types of change Myron mentions, using 9/11 as one example, for those who planned it, it was most likely Revolutionary.  Yet for those who didn't see it coming, it was Chaotic.  In the business world, say executives of a large corporation decide to close an office.  By these executives it may be viewed as Evolutionary, yet by those impacted, Chaotic.  Of a reverse example, say there is a major earthquake that causes severe damage. For those affected it's chaotic, yet when viewed from a geological time perspective, it's evolutionary. 

Based on the above, it becomes apparent that change has two sides.  That is on one side there's the initiator and on the other those who are impacted.  How then one views and responds to change becomes largely a function of one's frame of reference, one's mindset. 

With this said, when change happens by which you are impacted, how do you see it, and respond to it?  And on the flip side where you are the intiator, how do you see it and how do you expect others to see it and respond to it?

So, What's Constant About Change?

There is a popular saying: The only thing in life that is constant is change.  Given this, what I am questioning is within the constant change, what's constant? My thought process is that if we can recognize the constant within the change, and become comfortable with it, then change may not feel so much like change? Thus making it easier to accept and successfully navigate it?

As I reflect on these questions, I come to see that there are 2 elements within change that are constant.  They are:

1. Existence of Gap

Everything that I can think of in our universe, including us humans, is in constant motion. At any given moment, we are here and moving towards there, where ever and what ever there is.  It's different for different people, and we are often moving towards there on many fronts at the same time. This includes for example our careers, businesses, health, finances, relationships.  This constant movement from here and there results means the existence of gaps. While nature of here and there as well as the gaps are ever changing, the presence of gaps is permanent. 

2. Letting Go, Picking Up

To successfully and effectively move through these gaps, we are required to continually adjust metaphorically speaking our road maps.  As in traveling, when current conditions and/or the destination shifts, so we must also make changes to the route.

Similarly, in change we are required to constantly let go of what no longer makes sense, and stop doing it.  As well as we are also required to pick-up what is now needed, and start doing that.  And this letting go and picking up becomes easier when we keep ourselves open and flexible to how we see and think.

In other words we don't get locked into our thinking, and when we find ourselves doing so, we are able to catch ourselves.  This can happen when we continually intentionally challenge how and what we think--our thoughts, our assumptions, beliefs, perceptions and judgements. This means we don't get so comfortable in what is and instead that we remain open to what could be, what will be, the new reality.

By such constantly challenging, by choice, our thinking and looking through new lenses, we can become more comfortable with this way of being.  Then overtime it can become easier to stop doing what no longer makes sense and pick up what does, given the change.

Therefore when we can become more comfortable with the idea of having a gap as well as letting go and picking up, perhaps change won't feel so much like change?  What do you think?

Can Change Really Be Managed?

I frequently hear the term "Change Management", and each time I ask myself, what does this really mean? And moreover, can we really manage change?

Think about it.  Climate changes.  A competitor develops a new technology making yours obsolete.  A visionary CEO, as did Steve Jobs of Apple recently, passes away. In each of these situations, change happened.  Could such changes really be managed?  If they could be, what exactly would be managed anyways?  What would one say or do?

The more I think about this, what occurs to me is that its not so much that we manage change but rather we manage how we view it, think about it, and respond to it.  If you agree with this line of thinking, question then arises, what is meant by managing thinking?

As I have come to see it, it means continually bringing to surface, with sincere desire to understand and challenge one's own as well as that of others', underlying beliefs, assumptions, perceptions and judgments about the change.

It also means I believe to remain open to not only taking a look at the change from various perspectives but to then also take action to find solutions that take into account various perspectives.  In other words, with this broader understanding, working together to develop appropriate response(s) to the change.

With that said, I believe that we don't really manage change.  Rather, as stated earlier, we manage how we view it, think about it, and respond to it.  Perhaps this is what is meant by Change Management?

What do you think?

7 Questions to Ask, to Keep Your Good People!

Having a tough time keeping good people? Are you sick and tired of having to constantly hire and retrain? Is it draining your energy, and costing you a fortune? If so, read on.

Part of my work involves leading teams of highly qualified, technical experts who have significant experience within a very targeted niche. If any one of them left, it would be disruptive and very time consuming and costly to replace them.

When this realization occurred, I felt vulnerable. Then the more I thought about it, the more I realized how little I knew about each of my team members in-terms of what's truly important to them. In the absence of knowing that, I figured my odds of experiencing turnover would be greater. With this in mind I proceeded to schedule 1-to-1 meetings with each team member.  After setting the stage, I asked them following questions, with desire to learn what's truly important to them, and what they were feeling and thinking in-terms of where they are and what they are doing.

1. What do you want out of your life and how do you see this position helping you?
2. When you think of your work, your career, what's most important to you? 
3. What do you like about your work, and your being part of this organization?
4. What don't you like?
5. What would make your job more enjoyable for you, and support you in your goals?
6. What would cause you to start to think about moving on?
7. Going forward, how would you like me to support you?

While thankfully, overall team members were happy, here's some of what they said as to what more could be done to make 'em happier:

• I want to get experience in managing people
• I no longer want to manage people
• I want to learn new things
• I want to teach
• Recognize me privately, not publicly
• I want to go part-time
• I want to do more research

Notice that not a single person said anything about wanting more money.  While couple did say that they would welcome more of it, that was not their primary request.  One person, who is in her 60's, even said this:

• "What a fascinating approach to find out what makes me tick.  I am totally honestly impressed! I have been employed since the age of 13 and can remember being asked directly such questions only once before; it was during a job interview rather then after being hired."

Since these interviews were conducted, with support of leadership, some small yet meaningful adjustments have been made allowing each team member to get more of what they want, and less of what they don't.

As a result, today the team I sense is much stronger, happier, and working better together.  In addition, I am personally more at peace knowing we have a solid team in place.  Of course, I continue to check in with each of them to see how they are doing for I see my role as to help them succeed and provide them resources they need so they can do what they do best.

If you're faced with good people leaving, I encourage you to give this approach and these types of questions a try, and then share with us what you learn. I believe you'll be glad and will be better off for having done so.

All the best to you.

8 Business Lessons from Santa!

Have you ever wondered what business lessons we can learn from Santa, and his enterprise (Christmas Inc.)?  I have been thinking about this and here are some lessons that I have learned.

• Clear mission and clear primary target market:  This guy has been bringing joy to millions of  children year after year for eons.  And so clear is his mission that pretty much everyone, from young to old, knows it.
• Strong brand: Red suite, white beard, memorable jingles.  So simple, so powerful.  Even Steve Jobs would be envious.  Think about it, lining up for iPhone is nothing compared to the number of people who line up year after year to see Santa.
• Multiple offerings for his target market:  Lighting products, forest products, candies, clothing, toys, music, decorations, souvenirs, TV shows, movies, to name just a few. He is clearly after share of your wallet.
• Reoccurring revenue:  Have you ever heard of Christmas being cancelled?  Regardless of weather or economic conditions, business goes on.  In addition, as population grows, so does his customer base.
• Strong customer retention:  Not only are his customers very loyal, they even actively promote his business.  I bet Santa doesn't spend a dime out of his pocket on marketing, sales and advertising.  Even Southwest Airlines I bet, no matter how great their service, doesn't enjoy such loyalty.
• No turnover:  Have you ever heard of one of his elves jump ship to another holiday?  Ain't happening.  So imagine, no recruitment costs, no retraining costs, no unemployment insurance to buy. And happy elves I am sure also means much lower health insurance premiums. 
• Strong team work:  Clearly his team enjoys what they do and feel appreciated.  Just imagine, as in Santa's workshop, what would your place be like if your people sang happy songs while working together side by side, day after day, year after year? 
• Clear roles and responsibilities:  No confusion here.  The Mrs. is in charge of operations, Rudolph and his team run the delivery vehicles, elves make the stuff.  As for Santa, he does the delivery and is the face of the business.  The allows him to interact first hand with his customers which allows him to gain first hand information on what's happening in his market. 

Gosh, come to think of it, if he can run such a successful enterprise that truly is Built to Last, I wonder if he can get our economy and businesses back on track.  Do any of you know if he provides business consulting?  Would any of you happen to have his email address?

16 Ways to Show Staff You Care

Having a firm belief that when you hire right and take care of your people, they in turn will take care of your business and the customers it serves.  With this in mind, my friend Joe Isaacs, an association executive, and I published an article in this December's (2011) issue of Association Now. 

The article is entitled "16 Ways to Show Staff You Care".  For the benefit of my blog followers, I am posting the text of that article here.  Hope you find some nuggets that you can apply to strengthen your own teams, and therefore your business.

*****

We've served associations as both senior management and as trusted vendor partners for more than 30 years.  Over the years we have observed what contributes to organizational success among those who take seriously the adage "we are only as good as our people." 

The art of developing positive staff relations can fill books, but here are 16 simple truth that we believe will foster trust and dedication, promote a shared vision and performance excellence, and inspire staff leadership and creativity.

1. Show faith in your staff's capabilities: Set expectations, provide needed resources and tools, encourage measured risk taking, and offer specific feedback.
2. Recognize it's not all about you: Know that your success is derived from your staff's success.  Your role is to insure and help them be their best, not respond to your whims.
3. Watch performance and outcomes, not the clock: Work them hard when you need to and give them time off and the opportunity to work from home when they need it.
4. Get to know them as human beings: Recognize them by name and try to reward them based on their personal interests and preferences (e.g. concert tickets to a favorite performance for some, verbal praise for others).  It will often mean more to them then just money.
5. Don't micromanage: Ask staff what they need to get the job done, but don't dictate how they should do it.  Listen to staff for their important insights from the trenches.
6. Play to their strengths: Help staff find work that fits their natural talents and that they enjoy (even if it means a job elsewhere), and provide additional professional training when needed.
7. In case of mistakes, don't shout or punish: Talk it out, allow the staff member to explain what happened, and use it as a learning and growth opportunity.
8. Hold staff accountable for their efforts: Everyone brings something different to the table, but you don't want free riders or a sense of inequity to pervade.
9. Encourage managers to serve as mentors: A good manager is like a good coach, not merely a delegator.
10. Praise in public; criticize in private: Acknowledge staff's contributions in public every chance you get (including listing all staff on your website when possible and practical), and reserve sharing individual criticism for private moments.  Do keep in mind though that some staff members prefer more recolonization to be private.  When in doubt, ask them how they like to be acknowledged.  They will respect you for asking.
11. Treat staff with respect: Model positive behavior you expect from them and you are more likely to have it reciprocated.  Reflect professionalism but have a sense of humor.
12. Treat staff like adults and they'll be more likely to act that way: Make time for them when they need to talk to you and do so without judgement.  And when appropriate, ask them for needed advice.
13. Recognize that some staff may not fit the culture: Remove staff members who are toxic to the workplace, no matter how good they are technically.  Your organization will go on and be healthier for it.
14. Don't ask staff to do anything you wouldn't do yourself if asked by a supervisor: Listen to your gut in those instances and buffer your staff from unreasonable requests from individual board members.
15. Give them credit: Acknowledge to them and others routinely that organization's accomplishments are a result of staff's talent and their support of the organization's strategic directions.
16. Communicate honestly and fairly: Keep staff informed about the organization's progress as much as possible, and don't shoot the messenger when someone informs you of a problem.

*****

If you have additional suggestions, I hope you will share them.  Thank you.

Moments of Truth

In 1987, Jan Carlzon, then President of Scandinavian Airlines wrote Moments of Truth, one of my favorite books.  In it one of the statements he makes is that "Coffee stains on the flip tray suggest to the customer that we do not service our engines properly."  I read this book when it came out and this statement has always stuck with me.  While I understood it, I never quite experienced it as strongly until the last weekend.

My wife and were recently in Pittsburgh where we stayed at the Holiday Inn, located on the University of Pittsburgh campus.  It's a nice clean facility with overall friendly service and reasonable rates.  We have stayed there many times and we certainly plan to stay there many more times.

On this recent visit though, we decided to have dinner at the restaurant located inside the hotel.  When the server brought out the salad, they used the tray shown in pictures above.  It had plops of dressing, beacon crumbs, salad droppings, etc. all over the tray.  What an unappetizing site it was.

As I saw this, while logically it may not make sense, I wondered if this is how they serve food out in the open, then how must they handle food in the back, how dirty must the kitchen be, how dirty must the rooms be, and so on.  What started out as just a dirty tray turned into my questioning how they must maintain their entire facility. 

This particular incident really hit home the message of Moments of Truth. That being it isn't the big things but rather little things that lead to big impacts.  If you haven't read the book, it is a very worthwhile reading.  Apply what is presented in the book and watch your business grow.  It certainly worked for me when I was in my own business.  It was in fact one of the big secrets behind the growth we experienced.  I am confident it can have the same impact for you.

Watch Your Language, Please!

An old saying goes: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me".  From my experience, nothing is farther from the truth.  While physical wounds heal and are long forgotten, ill chosen words cut deep, with some such inflicted wounds never to heal.

I have found over the years that using positive words doesn't cost any more.  And using negative words doesn't cost any less.  Yet the impact each has, positive or negative, is huge.  Let's look at a business example.

In working with an organization some years back, a team spent some time reviewing various templates used in customer communications.  The wording in one of them really jumped out, worded roughly as follows (and the other templates weren't much different in tone):

ABC Manufacturing has reviewed your request and has determined that it does not meet our strategy.  Therefore we will not consider this request now, nor in the future.  We are closing out the request.  (Name of the client and wording have been changed/modified while preserving the essence.)

I don't know what your reaction was reading this but for me it felt like a door being slammed in my face.  It pained me just reading it - and it was not even a response to my request.  I can only imagine what the clients must have felt, when receiving such a response, and the (adverse) impact that must have had on the customer relationships and the business.

I am wondering if there would be another way to word this. For example, something like this:  "Hello , thank you for your request.  I have reviewed your request and unfortunately at this point in time, it does not fit the product strategy and therefore I am unable to address it through our regular support mechanism.  Having said that, I like to suggest our having a conversation so we can better understand what it is you're trying to achieve and then perhaps there may be another way we can help you achieve your desired outcomes.  If you agree, please advise when would be a convenient time for us to speak.  I'll wait to hear from you then.  Thank you kindly."

While this suggested reply is wordier and takes few more moments to write, don't you think it's much warmer, invites dialogue and leaves room for exploration and future opportunities as well as contributes to stronger relationship formation?

If you agree with the message of this post, perhaps it may be worthwhile for you and your team to review your own communications that take place with your customers, internal and external, and identifying ways they can be made more customer friendly, so they lead to more positive outcomes, for you and your clients?  In my experience, this is one of the ways to have a huge positive impact on your relationships and your bottom line, without spending a single additional penny.

What are your thoughts and experiences in this regards?  I would love to hear from you.  Won't you please take a few moments to respond?  Thank you so kindly in advance for your reading this post and for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts and experiences. - Vinay

Why Hire Professional Services?

My dear friend of many years, Tony Rossell, Vice-President (and Membership Marketing Guru) at Marketing General recently wrote a very informative post entitled Why Hire A Marketing Agency.  While Tony wrote in the context of outsourcing marketing services, points he shares I believe apply to hiring of professional services in general.

As many of you from time to time outsource, hire professional services, I thought you would find his post worthwhile reading.  Therefore, I wanted to bring it to your awareness. (Btw, in the picture above, that's Tony on the right hand side, along with his son.  Tony is a huge baseball fan as well as coaches a local baseball team.  A great friend to have in your corner.)

Getting Aligned!

To win the race, members of the crew team must row in sync, towards the same destination, utilizing and leveraging each others inherent strengths as much as possible. As in sports, those in family businesses (owners, family members, and employees) must similarly align and work together to ensure family and business success.

Yet alignment is frequently questionable in family businesses. This leads to further conflict and ultimate decline, even death of the business. Additional impacts over time from this include increased tension and distance within the family relationships.

The root cause for much of this in my experience has to do with lack of "real and open" conversations, for balancing family and business needs is not always easy. One is constantly pulled in two different, often opposing, directions. Each member has different ideas on how to run the business, it's direction, it's purpose, and so on.

Rather then talk about such "hot" issues, they are often pushed aside, hoping they'll go away, which of course they never do. Secondly, even if the members were to communicate, it's also lack of understanding what exactly they would discuss, to achieve such alignment.

Having given much thought, I believe there are 7 key areas that contribute to achieving alignment, which can be effectively meaningfully discussed, once more effective open communication is established. And it is alignment that leads to long-term success, of both business and family relationships, both of which are so intertwined in a family business.

These key factors include:

1. Within
2. Purpose (Internal and External)
   
3. Vision
4. Values
5. Strategic Focus
   
6. Goals
7. Role
   

In my upcoming posts, I will expand on each of these areas. As you read this post, as well others, I would most welcome your thoughts, your input.

Don't Let this Tear Your Business Apart

In business, after some initial success, partners and family members who are in business together at times start to go in different directions. It's not intentional. Just that each has their own vision of the future. If this is not brought to surface and resolved, it can turn into a tug-of-war, wasting precious resources. It can even tear apart the business. Everyone looses.

Let's dig deeper and look at what happens.

In business, according to Bradford, Duncan and Tarcy, authors of Simplified Strategic Planning (an excellent read) there are six different strategic focus areas by which one can lead the business. These include:

1. Product/Service
2. Market/Customers
3. Technology
4. Raw Materials
5. Distribution Channel
6. Capabilities

For the business to be successful, while it may contain elements of more then one of these, only one can be the primary driver. If the primary driver/focus is not chosen and agreed upon, significant resources end up being wasted in the tug-of-war that follows. For the purposes of this post, I want to focus on two of the six:

1. Market/Customer Focus
2. Product/Service Focus

In market/customer focus, the focus is more on serving the target market. If say one partner feels really connected with a specific space, s/he will want to go deeper into this space. For example, let's assume a partner serves the dental market, supplying tooth brushes. Given the excellent relationships she experiences with those she serves, she may choose to also sell other products to this market, such as floss, tooth paste, x-ray film, office equipment, and so on. She simply loves her clients and want to do more for them. It's more about the market then what is sold.

In product/service focus, say for the other partner, it's not about the dental market but that he just loves brushes. His view is if dental offices buy brushes, then he can expand his product line to include other kinds of brushes and expand into for other markets. For example, this could include selling brushes to auto repair shops, to manufacturing facilities, and so on. He simply loves brushes regardless of type of brushes and who they are sold to. It's more about what is sold then the market.

When this difference surfaces, if partners are not aware of what's happening here, they may conclude something like that the other is just stubborn, just doesn't get it, and so on. Before you know it, wedge has been driven, going deeper and deeper overtime, and eventually leading to the partnership being split. Alternatively, they continue to have this tug-of-war, wasting precious resources and experiencing stress as well.

If you are experiencing this situation or know of business partners who are, it's important to discuss this objectively and settle on one strategic focus, for the sake of the business and the partnership.

2 Ways to Minimize Costly Hiring Mistakes

No matter how solid the business plan, it's simply hard to execute it without good people. Yet one of the biggest challenges we faced in our family business was in the area of hiring, in particular hiring sales and customer service reps. Literally we lost hundreds of thousands over the years due to bad hires, let alone the mental stress we experienced due to it.

Many of the candidates looked good, sounded good, seemed to have the right skills and experience, yet didn't work out. Not only was it costly in-terms of money lost, it was also tiring because of all the hours lost that went into training and getting them up to speed. Over the years, I gained important insights which I'll share with you here, to help you make better hiring decisions.

While we can't bat 100%, though we like to, I like to share two suggestions that will help you increase your batting average.

1. Use Personality Profiles

The one I use is called TriMetrix and it looks at individuals through 3 different lenses. The assessment identifies, objectively and neutrally, behavioral strengths and blind spots, what the individual focuses on, as well as what moves 'em into action. If you find there is a significant gap between what you need and what this individual has to offer, inspite of their experience and skills, I would think seriously before making the hire. This small investment upfront can save you literally thousands of dollars, as well as your valuable time and energy. Not using this in my judgment is penny wise, pound foolish.

2. Ask These 4 Essential Questions

In the interview, questions often revolve around skills and experience. While these are important, they alone are not enough. For example, just because someone was successful in sales at another organization doesn't mean they'll succeed in yours. There are many factors that lead to success. Therefore, in addition to the usual questions, I would also ask the following types of questions:

A. What are some of your values, guiding principals? You want to look for a reasonably close match to ensure their values match to your organizations.

B. What's your vision for your own life? In other words, probe to learn what matters to them, what do they want to create, how do they enjoy spending their time, what motivates them, what their dreams are.

C. How do you see this job, this role, helping you live the life you want, helping you make your dreams come true?

D. Share with them your vision, your values, who you serve, why your clients do business with you. Also share openly some of the challenges people in your company currently face. Then ask the interviewee this question: Given what I have shared with you, how do you see yourself fitting into this organization?

It's important to hire people who get excited by your vision and connect with your values. The greater the match, the greater the chances of success. And it's not just for your own benefit but also the benefit of candidates. When bad hiring happens, both suffer. By investing time upfront to ensure good fit, everyone wins.

Getting Along with Your Business Partners

In my experience, majority of business problems, especially in partnership based businesses find their roots in communication breakdowns. When business partners don't get along or are not working effectively, and this is even more true for businesses involving family members, you'll find gaps in communication. What then takes place is "I said, you said...I thought, you thought...". Moles turn into mountains, no one wins.

The solution is very clear - communicate, communicate, communicate! Communicate expectations, roles & responsibilities, vision, values, purpose, base strategy and strategic focus, critical success factors, and so on.

Sounds pretty easy, right? Yeah. Sounds easy but tough to do.

In today's fast pace, we get so caught up in day-to-day tasks that we don't make time for such important conversations. This is even more true for family businesses where they don't incorporate regular meetings. It also happens because sometime we don't know how to start and have such conversations. And the more delicate the issue, the tougher and therefore even more critical to have communication.

Otherwise, while everyone may think everything is progressing smoothly and that everyone is on the same page, likely there are unresolved issues stewing underneath that hamper future business and relations. Furthermore, when such dialogue is missing, "grapevine" runs rampant, organization lacks focus and alignment, valuable resources are split into multiple directions, to name just a few.

If you want your business to last, on-going communications are vital. If you are at a point where emotions run hot during your meetings, make the investment in an outside moderator, a facilitator, someone who understands the unique challenges associated with partnership and family based businesses. They, being neutral and objective, can help you manage conflicts and keep conversations on track.

On-going communication is one of the best investments any partnership and family business can make to ensure lasting success. Whatever you do, please make time to regularly communicate. It's vital to your success.

How to Rebuild Business Relationships

Do you know couples, siblings, friends, families who are in business together? And in spite of having achieved business success, now they can't seem to get along and they are constantly going at each other?

I grew up in a family business environment as well as have been in one. In addition to having experienced the joys of partnership and family business, I also have experienced the struggles and the pain. I have seen up close way too many relationships fall apart, among those who are otherwise good kind loving individuals, each doing their very best. It's painful to watch and to experience it.

It doesn't have to be that way.

Business relationships can fall apart for many reasons: miscommunication, lack of communication, lack of understanding, behavioral differences, apathy, separate schedules, busy schedules, or disagreements. Sometimes blow ups happen and other times the relationship just slowly falls apart.

The challenge becomes even greater in family businesses where members are unable to communicate about sensitive or heated subjects without ending up in some kind of an argument. One person may yell while another may shut down, and yet a third may storm out of the room. Each reacts differently, and no one understands why the others don't see the situation his or her way.

While it's true that every family and every business group has disagreements, when you mix family members with business issues, the conflicts are more intense and more frequent. Specially since family members know how to push each other's buttons, and they do can do so, and do, freely.

I know when I was in business, I yearned for a way of addressing heated topics with family members in a manner that does not impede on the company's success, and vice versa. Not knowing how at the time, I used to often feel very isolated and frustrated.

As they say, if I knew then what I know now.

When my own business relationship fell apart, after being together for nearly 20 years, I silently wowed to figure out how this happens and how it can be fixed, or prevented in the first place. After spending nearly 3 years delving into this, I believe through real life application, that nearly every business relationship can be repaired, or reinstated. While there are many ways of doing that, I will discuss one of those ways here.

When a relationship has gone south, one of the biggest challenges is how to open up the dialogue. One of ways to open up and restart the conversation, first step to repair, is via the use of personality profiles. The one I myself use with business partners and business teams is called The Trimetrix, and it's one of the most powerful instruments I have come to use.

What's valuable is not just what the reports provide, and do so in an objective neutral way, it's that they provide a means through which conversation can begin. As the results from these profiles are discussed, first individually and then as a group, I have experienced over and over that conversation once again begins to flow, people start to open up, misunderstandings start to turn into understandings, conflicts begin to turn into synergy, participants start to release long held thoughts, their perspectives start to shift, to name just a few of the many benefits.

Key to make this work is to have an outside expert administer the assessments and conduct the debriefs individually as well as facilitate the group conversation when conducting the group debrief. In addition to the expertise, they are neutral and objective and keep the group together and moving forward. Also, as an added benefit, these profiles also provide a common language for communication and that's often very helpful.

If you are experiencing tensions, communication breakdowns, cold war, or open heated arguments, I urge you to seriously consider the use of personality profiles and follow what I am suggesting. It's one of the best investments you'll make. In addition to getting your relationships back on track, you'll begin to also notice the very positive impact this will have on your business as well as other aspects of your life.

If you have any questions, please just ask. I wish you the very best.

11 Keys to Building Strong Partnerships

Have you ever gone on a vacation with someone who is very different from you? One wants to experience everything under the sun while the other wants to just chill out. One wants to plan the day down to the minute while the other likes to figure out what to do as the day goes by. One wants to go left, the other right. One wants window down and put the peddle to the metal while the other likes the windows up and keeps tapping the break peddle. Now just imagine, being in partnership with this person who has very different preferences. What would that be like?

I am sure you get the picture.

Therefore, in choosing your business partner(s) it's crucial to, for both long-term success and to having an enjoyable experience, here are 11 key factors of consider:

1. Shared Vision. Metaphorically speaking, what will happen if one wants to go to California while the other Florida? One envisions a chain of big box stores while the other a small boutique? It's important to share common definition of success, your desired destination, what you want to sell, and to whom. Otherwise, it'll be a constant push-n-pull, tug-of-war.

2. Shared Values. Do you share values that will guide you in your decision making, in your day to day activities? For example, how will you function say if one views employees as those who can be easily hired and fired at will while you view them as family? One has no problem taking on debt while you are terrified by it?

3. Shared Work Ethic. Will you both put in your best efforts or is one a slacker while the other carries the load?

4. Shared Base Strategy. Of the 4 types, do you both share where you want to be ultimately?

• Small Fish, Small Pond
  
• Small Fish, Big Pond
  
• Big Fish, Small Pond
  
• Big Fish, Big Pond

Similar to example given in #1 above, what will happen if one wants to build a business say selling commodities in high volume low margins and the other wants to pursue a strategy of a specialty selling low volume high margins?

5. Aligned in what you lead with. What happens say if one wants to be the low cost supplier while the one wants to be known for outstanding quality, customer service and charge high prices?

• Innovation, Cutting Edge
  
• Customer Service
  
• Quality, Tried and True
  
• Low Price Seller

For example, what will happen if one wants to be known for high quality, outstanding service while the other wants to sell on price and quality isn't as important?

6. Leveraging Strengths. Here, differences are actually healthy. If say one is outgoing, aggressive and quick to act, it's important to have someone who is reflective, more thoughtful and reserved. Or one is more task focused, it's important to have the other be most people focused. It's the Ying and Yang, left brain and right brain. Both are needed.

7. Complimentary Skills. Overall, to run a successful business, skills in administration (e.g, HR, IT, Accounting), Sales/Marketing, and Operations are needed. Do the partners bring a mix of skill sets? Here again, you need to ensure everyone brings something to the mix so all bases are covered. You want someone who will fill in for your weaknesses and you do the same for the other. No one is good at everything. It takes all types to make business work.

8. Do you enjoy being together. In business, you will spend lots of time together and therefore it's very important you enjoy each others company, and have the ability to have open honest conversations, no matter how tough the issues.

9. Commitment: There will be good times, there will be rough times. Are all of you committed to the partnership, to see it through, no matter what you all face. One for all, all for one.

10. Personal Responsibility: When something goes wrong, will you play the blame game or are you strong enough to also look within and see how you contribute to the situation. This was a lesson for me. It took me a long time to accept that in my own partnership coming apart, I too had a huge role. Until we are willing to looking within ourselves also, we'll play the victim game and that doesn't contribute to healthy partnerships.

11. Trust & Respect: Last but not least, do you trust and respect each other. You want someone on whom you can count on, completely trust, someone who has your back covered as you have theirs, someone you respect. All successful lasting relationships are built on foundation of trust and mutual respect.

Having said all this, I want to stress that there is no one right or wrong, better or worse. There is a place for everyone. Important thing in partnerships is that there be alignment. If it's missing, your partnership is destined to difficulties. Therefore, when choosing your business partner(s), be sure to pay critical attention to these factors.

Also, as a final word for now, it's important to note that it's unlikely to ever find a perfect match. We are humans afterall and we each have our uniqueness's. What's important is to be aware of where you align, where you don't, and to work through those differences, and to recognize that there is always some benefits in those differences.