From Dog Food to Filet Mignon: My Selling Journey As An Introvert

Are you a highly educated introverted professional who is required to sell your services and meet revenue goals, as part of your job?  Do you ever doubt yourself and your abilities to sell?  Do you feel uncomfortable with the idea of selling, and being viewed as a sales person? When it comes to selling, many introverts doubt their abilities to sell.  I used to be one of them.

My very first job out of college was as a Sales Engineer for a major oil company.  Landing on the job, after receiving some initial product training, I was given a car, a territory, a map, and told go at it.  I was to call on contractors selling commodity items that included fuels and lubricants for heavy machinery.  While I was thrilled to have a company car, it was not exactly what I expected the job to be. It was frankly a pure selling role. Never figured out at the time where the engineer part was that was also part of the job title.

In any event, thinking sales people are supposed to be outgoing and that it's about fast talking, back slapping, shooting the breeze, I tried to do all that.  I even grew a mustache so I would look older than I did at the time, so people would take me seriously.  In hind site, I must have looked awfully stupid because as an introvert, such behavior is so counter to who I am.

Nearly every day frankly in that job was a misery, and I hated it.  While I loved the part about learning and meeting people, I just couldn't get used to idea of me selling.  And frankly I hadn't gone to college and studied Chemical Engineering only to then become a salesman.  But I loved the car and I was finally making some money, and so was too hesitant to quit.  Finally, much to my relief, my employer kicked my behind out the door.  While it hurt my ego, I said to myself "Thank God".  And I wowed never to go into sales again.  (Though I failed at the time, it would be decades later I would come to see this part of my career as a gift.  That's a topic for another time however.)

Well, as they say, never say never. Ten years later, I was back doing Business-to-Business sales, and it is here I came to see that in the right place with the right offerings, we introverts can really sell and do it very well.  In this new role, I decided to just be myself, and it worked.  As a result of some steps, which I learned through many trials and errors, I ended up enjoying numerous referrals, highest margins, strong client retention, and remained top producer for a long time. 

How did I succeed in sales the second time?  Here it is:

• Gained Expertise: Having a passion for learning, I spent countless hours learning about all aspects of the business. I become an expert in the business, in what we were selling, and to whom I was selling.  I learned the ins and outs of what I sold, how it was produced, and how our offerings benefited our customers.  This also meant I made the time to understand who our ideal customers were, what challenges they were facing, how our offerings helped them, and what made us different-unique from our competitors.

• Freely Shared Expertise:  As I enjoy writing and sharing knowledge, I wrote articles, participated actively in various electronic discussion groups, developed and delivered training courses.  These writings led to my being invited to serve on various committees and speak at conferences.  In the process I came to know many people within my target market, and more importantly they came to know me.  All this contributed to my establishing visibility, credibility, and trust.

• Asked for Face-2-Face Meetings:  This is one area I had to push myself out of my comfort zone.  Given people within my target market were coming to know me through above mentioned activities, getting meetings became easier, over time.  Still, I had to make conscious effort to reach out and ask for meetings, for business, for opportunities to serve.  Initially this was very uncomfortable and over time with practice it became easier.  

• Helped Solve Problems:  I enjoy helping people solve problems.  Therefore, in meetings, I never tried to sell.  Frankly I couldn't do it even if I tried.  Instead I asked numerous questions, took time to probe to understand clients' needs and challenges. Then when it made sense I helped them understand how what we offered could help them.  In other words, selling happened when it made sense and this naturally led to business.  Of course there were many times I had to still ask for the business. But when the value was clear, it really wasn't very difficult to do.

• Built Strong Relationships:  As I like people, many of my clients in time also became my close friends. Though I am no longer in that business, some remain close friends to this day.  Building such relationships made business more enjoyable and led to much more business too, from both existing clients and their colleagues who were referred to me.

• Went Deep, Went Wide: As client relationships became stronger, I was given opportunities to help them solve more and more problems they were facing across various departments.  This led to my taking more of my offerings deeper into my clients' organizations.  This not only helped them, it also led to relationships becoming more "sticky", i.e. making me less likely to be displaced by a competitor.

• Remained Curious, Constantly Asked Questions:  By on-goingly asking clients questions such as "how am I doing?" and "what more can I do for you?", they gave me lots of feedback, which we used to make improvements and develop additional offerings. They told me what's important to them, what they need, what made us stand out from the competition, and so on. In essence, customers told me how to sell to them and what to sell.  Doesn't get any better then this.

Bottom line is that introverts can and do absolutely succeed in selling.  So if you're an introverted professional who is required to sell and generate revenue as part of your role, fear not.  If I can do it, you can too.  Just be yourself, and just do it.  Leverage your natural strengths, take types of steps I shared above, and success will follow in due time.  I can guarantee it.

8 Business Lessons from Santa!

Have you ever wondered what business lessons we can learn from Santa, and his enterprise (Christmas Inc.)?  I have been thinking about this and here are some lessons that I have learned.

• Clear mission and clear primary target market:  This guy has been bringing joy to millions of  children year after year for eons.  And so clear is his mission that pretty much everyone, from young to old, knows it.
• Strong brand: Red suite, white beard, memorable jingles.  So simple, so powerful.  Even Steve Jobs would be envious.  Think about it, lining up for iPhone is nothing compared to the number of people who line up year after year to see Santa.
• Multiple offerings for his target market:  Lighting products, forest products, candies, clothing, toys, music, decorations, souvenirs, TV shows, movies, to name just a few. He is clearly after share of your wallet.
• Reoccurring revenue:  Have you ever heard of Christmas being cancelled?  Regardless of weather or economic conditions, business goes on.  In addition, as population grows, so does his customer base.
• Strong customer retention:  Not only are his customers very loyal, they even actively promote his business.  I bet Santa doesn't spend a dime out of his pocket on marketing, sales and advertising.  Even Southwest Airlines I bet, no matter how great their service, doesn't enjoy such loyalty.
• No turnover:  Have you ever heard of one of his elves jump ship to another holiday?  Ain't happening.  So imagine, no recruitment costs, no retraining costs, no unemployment insurance to buy. And happy elves I am sure also means much lower health insurance premiums. 
• Strong team work:  Clearly his team enjoys what they do and feel appreciated.  Just imagine, as in Santa's workshop, what would your place be like if your people sang happy songs while working together side by side, day after day, year after year? 
• Clear roles and responsibilities:  No confusion here.  The Mrs. is in charge of operations, Rudolph and his team run the delivery vehicles, elves make the stuff.  As for Santa, he does the delivery and is the face of the business.  The allows him to interact first hand with his customers which allows him to gain first hand information on what's happening in his market. 

Gosh, come to think of it, if he can run such a successful enterprise that truly is Built to Last, I wonder if he can get our economy and businesses back on track.  Do any of you know if he provides business consulting?  Would any of you happen to have his email address?

16 Ways to Show Staff You Care

Having a firm belief that when you hire right and take care of your people, they in turn will take care of your business and the customers it serves.  With this in mind, my friend Joe Isaacs, an association executive, and I published an article in this December's (2011) issue of Association Now. 

The article is entitled "16 Ways to Show Staff You Care".  For the benefit of my blog followers, I am posting the text of that article here.  Hope you find some nuggets that you can apply to strengthen your own teams, and therefore your business.

*****

We've served associations as both senior management and as trusted vendor partners for more than 30 years.  Over the years we have observed what contributes to organizational success among those who take seriously the adage "we are only as good as our people." 

The art of developing positive staff relations can fill books, but here are 16 simple truth that we believe will foster trust and dedication, promote a shared vision and performance excellence, and inspire staff leadership and creativity.

1. Show faith in your staff's capabilities: Set expectations, provide needed resources and tools, encourage measured risk taking, and offer specific feedback.
2. Recognize it's not all about you: Know that your success is derived from your staff's success.  Your role is to insure and help them be their best, not respond to your whims.
3. Watch performance and outcomes, not the clock: Work them hard when you need to and give them time off and the opportunity to work from home when they need it.
4. Get to know them as human beings: Recognize them by name and try to reward them based on their personal interests and preferences (e.g. concert tickets to a favorite performance for some, verbal praise for others).  It will often mean more to them then just money.
5. Don't micromanage: Ask staff what they need to get the job done, but don't dictate how they should do it.  Listen to staff for their important insights from the trenches.
6. Play to their strengths: Help staff find work that fits their natural talents and that they enjoy (even if it means a job elsewhere), and provide additional professional training when needed.
7. In case of mistakes, don't shout or punish: Talk it out, allow the staff member to explain what happened, and use it as a learning and growth opportunity.
8. Hold staff accountable for their efforts: Everyone brings something different to the table, but you don't want free riders or a sense of inequity to pervade.
9. Encourage managers to serve as mentors: A good manager is like a good coach, not merely a delegator.
10. Praise in public; criticize in private: Acknowledge staff's contributions in public every chance you get (including listing all staff on your website when possible and practical), and reserve sharing individual criticism for private moments.  Do keep in mind though that some staff members prefer more recolonization to be private.  When in doubt, ask them how they like to be acknowledged.  They will respect you for asking.
11. Treat staff with respect: Model positive behavior you expect from them and you are more likely to have it reciprocated.  Reflect professionalism but have a sense of humor.
12. Treat staff like adults and they'll be more likely to act that way: Make time for them when they need to talk to you and do so without judgement.  And when appropriate, ask them for needed advice.
13. Recognize that some staff may not fit the culture: Remove staff members who are toxic to the workplace, no matter how good they are technically.  Your organization will go on and be healthier for it.
14. Don't ask staff to do anything you wouldn't do yourself if asked by a supervisor: Listen to your gut in those instances and buffer your staff from unreasonable requests from individual board members.
15. Give them credit: Acknowledge to them and others routinely that organization's accomplishments are a result of staff's talent and their support of the organization's strategic directions.
16. Communicate honestly and fairly: Keep staff informed about the organization's progress as much as possible, and don't shoot the messenger when someone informs you of a problem.

*****

If you have additional suggestions, I hope you will share them.  Thank you.

Getting Aligned!

To win the race, members of the crew team must row in sync, towards the same destination, utilizing and leveraging each others inherent strengths as much as possible. As in sports, those in family businesses (owners, family members, and employees) must similarly align and work together to ensure family and business success.

Yet alignment is frequently questionable in family businesses. This leads to further conflict and ultimate decline, even death of the business. Additional impacts over time from this include increased tension and distance within the family relationships.

The root cause for much of this in my experience has to do with lack of "real and open" conversations, for balancing family and business needs is not always easy. One is constantly pulled in two different, often opposing, directions. Each member has different ideas on how to run the business, it's direction, it's purpose, and so on.

Rather then talk about such "hot" issues, they are often pushed aside, hoping they'll go away, which of course they never do. Secondly, even if the members were to communicate, it's also lack of understanding what exactly they would discuss, to achieve such alignment.

Having given much thought, I believe there are 7 key areas that contribute to achieving alignment, which can be effectively meaningfully discussed, once more effective open communication is established. And it is alignment that leads to long-term success, of both business and family relationships, both of which are so intertwined in a family business.

These key factors include:

1. Within
2. Purpose (Internal and External)
   
3. Vision
4. Values
5. Strategic Focus
   
6. Goals
7. Role
   

In my upcoming posts, I will expand on each of these areas. As you read this post, as well others, I would most welcome your thoughts, your input.

How Healthy is Your Family Business?

Following my recent post "Getting Along, Getting Aligned, Getting Ahead", I just finished writing series of posts on behaviors and motivators. The better that is understood and applied, the better we do at getting along with others, which in turn contributes to more effective communication and to then more effective alignment. But what do we exactly mean by alignment? What does that include? How do we make that happen? I'll be writing on this topic in my upcoming posts.

Before moving onto that topic however, as we're about to enter the new year and therefore thinking this will be a great time to do a heath check on your family business, I wanted to share with you the "Family Business Health Check" that I just designed. See below. Go ahead, give your family business a physical and determine it's health. From this, you'll a sense of where additional work is needed to improve the health of your business, and the health with family members who are directly and indirectly related to your business.

To start, please answer the following questions to the best of your knowledge. Then follow explanation below.

1. All of the family members involved in the business, directly and indirectly, understand and are aligned with the business’ purpose, vision, mission, values, and goals?

2. Everyone knows what each family members wants?

3. You are able to openly share concerns, differences of opinions, and issues with your family members and we are able to resolve our differences?

4. Your business is run professionally, without family issues or dynamics negatively impacting or complicating business matters?

5. Family members, and non-family members in key positions, challenge each other, in a productive way, to build healthier business and stronger relationship, with family members and non-family members?

6. Your family has regular meetings and retreats to deal with family business issues, in a safe environment?

7. Your family has clear guidelines for family members and their conduct within the business?

8. The senior generation in your business shares their philosophy their plans for succession and is open to new ideas and ways?

9. Family members inside and outside of your business communicate openly and bring up issues so that they can be discussed and resolved without any animosity?

10. Family members are clear about their roles and responsibilities and those are aligned with each individual’ inherent strengths and intrinsic motivations?

11. Family members hold themselves and each other accountable?

12. Family participates in long-range planning and is aligned with the direction, strategic focus and base strategy?

13. Family members are kept informed of business performance, challenges being faced, and other matters?

14. Family members are in the business by choice, not out of obligation, guilt and other related feelings?

15. Family members effectively communicate and manage & leverage each other’ differences for greater individual and joint success?

16. Family members are continuously learning and growing?

17. Family members genuinely care for, support, trust and respect each other?

18. Family members maintain healthy boundaries between home and business?

19. Family members understand and respect what each contributes to the business?

20. Family members participate in both shared activities as well as activities that give them their own space?

21. Family members understand and respect family values and traditions?

22. Family members feel they are treated fairly, heard and appreciated?

23. Family members are encouraged to seek experience outside of the family business for their further development and growth?

24. You have a clear process for making different types of decisions, especially as it involves family?

25. Family members effectively manage boundaries between family roles and business roles?

So, how did you do? How many no's? Yes's? The more no's, the greater the chances of your business failing, and most likely when you least expect it. Don't let this happen to you and your business.

*****

P.S. To get even greater value from this Family Business Health Check, do the following:

For each question, instead of yes and no answers, assign a numerical range. For example, for each question, ask them to respond on scale of 1-10, with 1 being strongly disagree to 10 being strongly agree. On questions where there is a wide gap between some answering say as opposed to 10, or where you have consistently high scores, they may give you insights into potential issues that need/must be addressed.

Motivator #6: Passion for Tradition

The other day, I was at a gathering of retired army officers, which took place at the home of my brother-in-law who himself is retired from Army. I observed that many came proudly wearing their uniforms and they continue to follow army traditions, protocols, even after retirement. Their language consists of topics related to ranks, operating procedures, strong values and believe in the cause.

These army officers were exhibiting passion for tradition.

Folks who score high on this passion work hard, and many even giving their lives, for causes they strongly believe in. For example, they are say either Republicans or Democrats, Prolife or Prochoice, vegetation or non-vegetarian, and so on. And if you share beliefs, it's great. If not, it can be challenging.

Who do you know who shares this passion? Where and how do you see them adding value? And knowing what you now know, how would you motivate them, so you get the best out of them?

Motivation #5: Passion to Lead

I have a dear friend, whose nickname at home is "The General". At her family gatherings, no matter what the event, she takes charge.

Another friend of mine loves to sell. She is Type A, driven to achieve. I one day asked her why is all that achievement important to her because I know internally she is not driven by money. Her reply, I like being #1. Pretty clear.

These people share the passion to lead.

Who do you know who has this passion? Where and how do you see them adding value? And knowing what you now know, how would you motivate them, so you get the best out of them?

Motivation #4: Passion to Serve

Do know those who love to volunteer, to help others, to teach, coach and mentor? They just can't resist not helping someone in need? They are caring souls who want to make the world a better place.

The other day I was a Rotary Club gathering . Rotarian's mission is service - in the community and throughout the world. Rotarians build goodwill and peace, provide humanitarian service and encourage high ethical standards in all vocations. The Rotary motto is "Service Above Self". For me personally also, this speaks to my heart and when I am with such people, I feel so much at home.

Clearly, Rotarians, as well as I, share a strong passion to serve, motivator #4.

• Who do you know who has this passion?
  
• Where and how do you see them adding value?
  
• How would you motivate them, so you get the best out of them?

Motivator #3: Passion for Beauty and Balance

Do you know people who have a deep appreciation for nature, beauty and harmony? Who absolutely need down time to re-energize? They crave work/life balance--as opposed to workaholics?

They are also very protective of our natural resources, our environment. For example, to save trees you'll find them printing documents 2-sided and they are big into recycling, etc. They also tend to be creative, artistic. You'll find them in the arts, decorating, designing, and other creative endeavors.

These folks have a passion for beauty and balance.

• Who do you know who has this passion?
  
• Where and how do you see them adding value?
  
• How would you motivate them, so you get the best out of them?

Motivator #2: Passion for Results

Do you know folks who are internally driven to achieve? Bottom line oriented? Want to squeeze the most out of every resource they have? They think in-terms of ROI? They love to invest, to earn, and are very conscious of how they use their time?

These folks have a passion for results.

• Who do you know who has this passion?
  
• Where and how do you see them adding value?
  
• How would you motivate them, so you get the best out of them?
  
• How would you sell to someone who has this passion as their top driver?

Motivator #1: Passion for Learning

Do you know people who love learn? They are continuously reading about variety of subjects, participating in webinars, taking courses, and so on?

They are curious, they seek to understand, to gain deeper knowledge. These people have a passion for learning. Afterall, as the famous saying goes, "a mind is a terrible thing to waste".

Who do you know who has this passion? Where and how do you see them adding value? And knowing what you now know, how would you motivate them, so you get the best out of them?

Or let's say you had a prospect, or customer, who is high on this passion. How would you sell to them? What words would you use? How would you craft your offering, etc.?

As you read about motivations, in this post above as well as upcoming 5 more posts on these motivations, after reading the description of each, reflect on the questions above.

Why Do You Work? What Moves You?

• What gets you pumped, energized, jumping into action?
  
• What gets you out of bed each morning?
• What gets your team members out of bed each morning?
• What would it be like if you and each your team members knew and each were doing more work that is aligned with the inner passions?

Sure, we need to earn, to pay bills, and so on. Very simplistically speaking, we are born, we get an education, we get a job, we earn, we pay bills, and then bang, one day we're done. But is that it? I think not.

In my recent posts, I have written about the 4 behavior styles, which are important for that understanding, and application, significantly contributes to:

• Improved communication
• Improved personal and professional relationships
• Higher levels of workplace engagement
• Greater productivity and performance

To further strengthen relationships as well as live more fulfilled lives, it's also important to understand what at our core moves us. Then when we do work that is more in alignment with that deeper passion, work and life become more enjoyable and we're more successful too. With that in mind, over the next 6 posts, as promised, I'll share with you some insights into each of the 6 workplace motivators.

Of course, as with behaviors, please note that each of these motivators which you are about to learn are present within every individual. Only the degree of each varys and that they all interact in various ways to move people into action. Therefore, in a nutshell, it's important to understand these behaviors and motivations in totality rather then each in isolation of the other.

So what I am sharing with you is a very simplistic overview of each of the motivators. To better understand what moves you and your team members into action, and how they then carry out those actions, it's important to take the assessment and have it professionally interpreted.

In the meantime, my hope is by your gaining these basic insights alone will start to help you in various ways. Of course, if you have any questions, please just ask.

Pop Quiz on Behaviors :)

OK gang, you just finished learning about the 4 behavioral styles. Let's practice applying what you have learned over the last 4 days.

Here are 4 different scenarios. Can you identify the style of each of these individuals?

1. John is a successful engineer. He is very precise, patient, logical. Great with details and can communicate them clearly and exactly. He avoids conflicts and functions best when working alone. In his field, he is an expert.

2. Sally is strong-willed, results focused, tries her best to get everyone to focus on achieving her goals. Hates taking care of details. She took a huge risk to start her own business in a very competitive industry. She is determined to succeed.

3. Jimmy is very social, loves to talk, and glad to help people, and enjoys getting attention. He is the one who loves to go to social gatherings, pays lot of attention to how he looks and is great to cheering people on. When it comes to details however, that can be a problem for he missed on critical details.

4. Suzie is a calm, logical person who does not like sudden changes. She likes clear instructions and what's expected from her. While she can work alone, she does like being part of a team, around people and values honesty and a logical well thought out approach. Before starting any project, she likes to plan it out in details step by step before diving in. She is loyal and hard working and is able to also focus on details of the task while also being at the same time sensitive to the people around.

Behavior Style #4: Compliar

Think Al Gore, Monica Geller on Friends, Accountants, Auditors.

These folks are critical thinkers, direct and to the point in their communications, very detail and fact oriented, precise, accurate, compliant, logical and meticulous. They see the holes before the net, they fear being wrong, they tend to avoid conflict and they love to ask questions.

On the other hand, by some they are viewed pessimistic, cold, distant, picky, fussy, hard-to-please. But hey, you want them on your team for they'll catch potential critical mistakes before they happen, so they can be prevented.

For them a famous saying could be "In God we Trust, All Others Use Data". They like to test things out for they want proof. And if High Cs are reading this, I am sure they must have found my typos in this post already and that they already have long list of questions on what I have written, and on this topic in general.

Oh, one critical piece of data. This style in particular is not comfortable with physical contact, specially from strangers. So when you come into "contact" with them, I recommend you keep some distance, giving them their space.

Can you visualize those within your circle who fit these characteristics?

Behavior Style #3: Steady

Think Laura Bush, Mr. Rogers.

These folks are absolutely wonderful for they serve as a calming force when it seems all hell is breaking loose. Plus they are extremely loyal and very dependable, getting done what they commit to. They are the rock you can count on to be there when you need them. But don't let the calm easy going nature fool you. They have strong opinions but they just don't express them vocally.

In addition, they are great listeners, consistent, patient, quietly persistent, highly sensitive, tolerant, friendly, tactful, diplomatic, amiable, stable, understanding and team players. They love to build long-term relationships.

They are also great at reconciling factions, and they serve as a stabilizing force. Before they start on a project, they love to plan it out, draw it, and then think and act step wise. Start one task, finish and then move onto next. For example, they'll read a book start to finish before staring another one.

By some though, they can be viewed as unconcerned, as if they are not with the program, hesitant, inflexible, stubborn, detached, indecisive, resistant change, overly sensitive. It's just that they time to ponder alternatives and make decisions.

For these people, they do fear personal rejection and loss of stability so be sensitive to this when dealing with them. As for emotions, they are pretty good at hiding their emotions so you gotta be very attuned and sensitive to know what they are really feeling and thinking under that cool calm collected surface. For they'll quietly tolerate conflict, till one day it builds to a level that it can erupt like a volcano, leaving everyone stunned and surprised.

Can you visualize those within your circle who fit these characteristics?

Behavior Style #2: Influencer

Think Bill Clinton, Robin Williams, Cheerleaders.

Without these people, life would be dull. They bring fun, high energy, cheerfulness where ever they go. They are people people, life of the party, friendly, excited, enthusiastic, persuasive, optimistic, trusting, entertaining, talkative, lively, confident, inspiring, to name just a few.


They are comfortable with touch, with physical contact, and they tend to make decisions very quickly. Sometimes they appear disorganized and they have a tendency to throw around names. It's just how they are wired.

By some though, they can be viewed as say unrealistic, poor listeners, self-promoting, chatterboxes, scattered.

Yet when you need someone who is great at networking, to liven things up, to promote an idea, make connections, get your message out to lots of people, these are great people to have on the team. If they like you and what you have to offer, they will actively promote you.

With these folks though, make sure you make time to socialize first and then get to business, stay away from hard facts and don't focus too much on details. Details is not their thing. As for their fear , it is social rejection and when it comes to conflict, they run from it.

Can you visualize those within your circle who fit these characteristics?

Behavior Style #1: Dominance

Think Donald Trump, George W. Bush, Hiliary Clinton, Michael Jordon, Barbara Walters.

• Cut to the chase
• Get it done, now
• Move on
  

If you're a high D, you got the gist and are ready to log off this post at this point I am sure. No problem. All other types, I am sure will continue reading.

This style shows up as very competitive, independent, decisive, direct, results oriented, take charge, loves big challenges, fearless, blunt, head strong, impatient. Many times they are labeled as Type A, Alpha Males (applies to women too). This is how they are naturally wired.

While it's not High Ds intent, some view them as demanding, pushy, aggressive, egotistical, abrasive and other similar choice words. In the right role and situation though, they add tremendous value to the team for they are not afraid to take on tough challenges. In fact, they thrive on them.

These individuals are forward looking, great in situations where quick decisions are needed, where one needs to say take on a tough competitor, make the impossible possible. And they love change and in conflicts, they'll fight back. So never back them into a corner for they don't like to loose control or to loose.

Can you visualize those within your circle who fit these characteristics?

Don't Judge a Book By It's...

Yes, you said it...cover.

Yesterday I mentioned I'll be writing over the next 10 days about 4 different behavior styles and 6 different workplace motivators. Before I dive into that, I want to bring up two additional very important points.

First is human beings are way to complex to define by any one label. So while the information I will share with you will help you in gaining a deeper understanding and appreciation of yourself as well as others, please be mindful that there is so much more to each of us. Secondly, recognize that behaviors and motivators interplay.

For example, let's look at Joe (a real person, a dear friend of mine, whose name I have changed here as I don't share personal information about anyone on these blogs, aside from my own).

Joe on the surface (behavior) comes across as a pushy, dominating, aggressive individual. For those who are turned off by such behavior, as I too was at first, they often miss out by what he has to offer for deep in his heart, he has a heart of gold. You see, he has a strong drive to serve, to help others succeed. So if you get Joe in your corner, you have someone who will go to great lengths to help you get what you want.

Then there is Jane. On the surface she comes across as friendly, as charming, as someone who is there to help you. Yet on the inside she is driven very little by need to help others and instead her real drivers are power and prestige. In the right situation and role, she is a huge asset.

Therefore, as you gain greater insights into behaviors and motivators through my upcoming posts, please recognize that they do interplay, and therefore avoid the tendency to "judge a book by it's cover" alone.

Getting Along, Getting Aligned, Getting Ahead

As we're about to enter the holidays when there will be many gatherings, I wanted to continue on the post "Why Can't People Get Along", that I had written back in January of this year.

In my experience, a big reason for disagreements, distance between people, lost productivity, low engagement, turnover, etc. is simply because people can't get along. That often happens when people don't understand each other.

When they do get along and enjoy being with each other, they more effectively align, and it's simply amazing what they then can achieve. This is true not just in business but also in our lives outside of work as well. In fact, here's the formula to achieve nearly anything in life:

Simple Strategy + Systems/Processes + People + Action ===> Success

So no matter how good the strategy and systems and processes you have, nothing happens till people make it happen. And that doesn't happen 'till they are engaged in their work and with each other.

Therefore over the next 10 days, I am going to share with you, one each day, key pieces of information on each of the 4 basic personality styles and 6 key workplace motivators. Personality is what you can observe and motivators are what "internally" moves one into action. As you gain a deeper understanding of these and begin to apply this knowledge in your various personal and professional relationships, I am confident you're going to experience stronger connections, better results and greater joy.

One point to note though is that as you learn about these styles and motivators, it's important to recognize that there is no one style or motivator that is better then the other. Each style is important for everyone adds value. In addition, majority of individuals while they tend to exhibit one primary style, we're all complex beings and therefore we each have a mix of all styles generally and which one shows up more often depends on a given situation.

In any event, as you gain deeper understanding and apply of this knowledge, my hope is it will help you in numerous ways, as it has helped me. So for the next 10 days, I'll send you one post each day. (I'll do my best to keep 'em short and to the point.)

When Do You Need an Outside Facilitator?

In my recent posts, I have emphasized the need for regular communication between business partners, and even more so in businesses where family members are involved. I have also written much about the need to have an outside facilitator, someone who is objective and neutral. But how do you know when such a person is necessary, even crucial, and what do you look for in such a person?

Here are some key signs indicating you need external help:

• Emotions run hot;
  
• Some dominate the conversations, stalling participation from others;
  
• Conversely, people remain quiet, saying very little;
  
• People appear to be walking on egg shells, dancing around sensitive yet critical issues, which never seem to get resolved;
• When healthy dialogue is missing. People roll their eyes, looking here and there, and appear to agree readily;
• You know you need to communicate but you just can't seem to get to it, or are not sure what to do, or are uncomfortable for whatever reason;
• You need greater objectivity in the conversations.
  

Here are some key elements to look for in the facilitator:

• Must have deep understanding, preferably through real experience, of both business AND family/partnership dynamics;
  
• Is sensitive to group dynamics, not only among partners and among family business owners, but also dynamics that occur between owners and non-owners, non-owners and non-owner family members--yes, it's very complex;
  
• Strong at picking up undercurrents, the unspoken;
• Is an excellent listener, observer and has good communication skills;
• Can keep the conversation focused and on track;
• Can manage conflict and emotional vulnerability;
• Is objective and neutral while being respectful and understanding of various inputs.

If you are experiencing any of the signs above, get some help, NOW. Don't brush issues under the carpet, hoping they'll go away and all will work out just fine. If people are walking on egg shells, it's only a matter of time before stress fractures occur and the eggs crack. It's not a question of if, but when. Speaking from experience, before it's too late, get some help. You'll be thankful.