Thursday, August 23, 2012

But I Am Right!

The other day I quietly observed a parent-child conversation.  From what I noticed, this is a relationship where both deeply love and care for each other.  The conversation went back and forth about who is taller. After watching this for some time, I decided to jump in and ask, how does it matter who is taller.  As soon as I finished, I heard this immediate reply "But I am Right".

As I later reflected on this, I wondered: Where in our growth and development it happens that we get so set on being right and making sure others know that?  Then as we go through life, how often is it that we get so caught up in proving we're right that we lose sight of the bigger picture and what truly matters, and what does being right cost us in comparison to the benefits? What would our lives be like if we focused less on our being right and instead more on making others right?  And if we couldn't or were not able to help make others right, atleast just stop focusing so much on making sure others know we're right? 

Afterall, who do you want to be around?  Someone who is constantly trying to prove they are right? Or someone who supports you and acknowledges that you are right?

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Are You Behaving Like a Fly?

In the book You2, author Price Pritchett shares a story of a fly.  Pritchett one day observes a fly frantically buzzing around the room looking for a way out.  After buzzing around for some time, the fly sees a window and heads straight for it.  Not noticing the clear windowpane it slams into it and falls to the floor.

After some time it gets up, again starts to frantically buzz around, again slams into the windowpane, and again falls down.  This behavior repeats until the fly finally runs out of energy, collapses, and dies.

What the fly did not notice all the while is that right next to the closed window, was an open door.  Had it slightly shifted and saw the open door, it would have flown right out of the room.

As with this fly, how often do we become so set in our ways and continue to do the same thing even though it does not yield results we desire?  And in spite of all signs pointing to the need for us change, we simply refuse to?

So like this fly should have, what do you need to change?  What's the one shift you need to make that will move you forward and get you what you desire?

Thursday, August 16, 2012

To Speak, or Not to Speak!

I have noticed that each time I have gotten what I want, its because I said something.  I have also noticed that whenever I have gotten what I don't want, its then also because I said something. 

Indeed its true that it is through language we create and generate our future.

How about for you?  What have you noticed in regards to your relationship between what and how you say what you say and the results you achieve in your life?  And what do you need to say (or not say) today to create the future you want tomorrow?

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Just Stop It - The Sequal!

Several months ago, I asked a CEO whom I greatly respect, what can one do to become more effective?  His reply was "do more of what works and less of what doesn't".  The more I reflected on his response, the more I realized how profound his words were.

I than asked myself, where does one start.  Focusing more on doing more of what works, or less of what doesn't?  The more I thought about this, and seeing how stretched and stressed many of our lives are already, the more I came to see that if we simply stop doing what doesn't work, that alone will help us increase our effectiveness.  Not only will this give us more space in our lives, which I believe is important to our well-being, it will also allow us to focus more of our time, energy and resources on what does work.

With this said, here are some suggestions:
  1. Look at your To Do List and your calendar.  What do you have on there that no longer makes sense.  Once you have identified these items, just stop 'em.  In-terms of previous commitments, as far as possible, renegotiate them.  You can do this.  It's OK. 
  2. Look at your various involvements. For example projects, committees, and other initiatives.  For those that no longer make sense, find a way to let them go.
  3. Consider the people with whom you interact.  Among them, do you have individuals with negative attitudes, who continue to suck up your time, energy and resources, leaving you drained and tired?  These often are the people who also don't help you move forward in any significant way and they refuse to change.  I say move 'em on.  The more I see and experience as I go about my days the more wisdom I see in the statement "Sometimes its easier to change people than it is to change people".  
Look, this is your life and you get to choose.  So if you agree with what I have shared in this post, than follow the suggestions listed above.  Whatever no longer works and doesn't move you forward, simply Just Stop It!